how to board a plane

Well, boarding a plane seems simple, enough – people do it every day- but sometimes it's complicated- and it start the night before…

We finished work between 6-7 and hurried to see the ocean again before the sun sets- and we barely made it. the sun has set but the light was good enough for lighthouse by the ocean photos and the bay next to us- no seals on this beach, but lots and lots of driftwood (piles and piles of trees) washed ashore.
Darkness creeps in quickly so we leave this park (there are 5 state park within 10 minutes of this place), it's already close to 8- and we hurry since the flight are next morning and a long drive is ahead of us.
So this night it's Mexican- I order 2 burritos -1 shredded beef and 1 ground beef- there must be a difference – if there wasn't- it wouldn't be on the menu! and I get a huge burrito topped with cholesterol shaped cheese- and ground beef- I start working on it- and it doesn't turn into shredded beef - I thought they merged the burritos- but not, that was only one. Luckily they hadn't brought the other one- so the mystery of what is better- ground or shredded will never be solved.

So it's close to 9 pm and we check out of our hotel- since we are due to leave at 2 am- and don't want to wake the staff that late- it is always fun to get a wakeup call for 1:40 am
I pack my bags, and look for my phone which of course is not there- probably forgot it in the car(I hoped)- so i watch half an episode of some sitcom and fell asleep.

An annoying alarm was triggered at 1:40- I barely open my eyes and take a couple of minutes to understand who is bugging me to wake up, take a quick shower and head out the door.
My flight is in 3:40 hours, it takes 2.5-3 hours to get there- so cutting it a bit close.

The problem was that I couldn't speed the normal speed limit (10 above whatever the signs say- as normal) because of the last ticket- I am extra slow and manage to piss some truckers which are the only other cars on the road- and something that happens only when you are late- road work- blocking the entire road- so we wait a few minutes- and my ticketless colleague takes the wheel- after the reopen the road block – drives way faster than I did coming in- but of course now the cops are sleeping. On talk on the road while looking for the sasquatch- also known as BigFoot – he (or she) is from these woods- but not rarely seen-we do manage to see a deer on the side of the road (Still alive, but not for long if he would remain near the road) .
We make it to the airport and hour and 15 minutes prior to the flight- well on time- nothing can go wrong , yeh right

I get to the counter and hand my card to the agent- after the automatic machine wouldn't read it- automation never works - and I am on her list, it is booked( I have the booking number, and all the trimmings) but the ticket is not Eticket or something- and though I paid- they can't get me on the plane- so we start calling people – and before 5 am here is still before 8 on Cleveland time- so offices are closed- our night travel agencies- tells me what has to be done (someone should push a button somewhere)- and I should wait for the offices to open in 10 minutes- and the cut off time approaches(after that they don't accept passengers)- the office doesn't open on time- and my cut off time approaches- time appear to be moving faster than ever- and finally I get them and they tell me the same- push something somewhere- so they try to push- and for some reason they can't get it done, boarding has begun and the cut off time expired and united leaves without me- but luckily there is another flight to somewhere else with the same final destination- to arrive 18 minutes later- so they start working on that.
Time moves faster still – and the cut off time for the 2nd flight approaches- 3 minutes till time they say they can't do it- credit card issues (not mine) so I give them mine quickly and standing on the counter next to the agent- and she is ready to swipe- with 30 seconds to spare… (not kidding- I looked at the agents watch- 30 seconds) the approval gets through and I get my boarding pass

And of course I have to check the bag- why- I don't pack much- but I have a tool set- not even 'achmed the dead terrorist' (watch youtube) can't do nothing with an Allen set- have you ever tried working with them?- but regulations are regulations and I must check my bag (and pay 15$ extra for the first bag- damn united airlines)

So I hurry to security- come to the gate- and no one is there- but that's ok- it's a small airport and they always board late- but I make it on time.

The plane here is tiny- not the baby plane from Nebraska- this is a 3 year old infant
I get the 1st row which is surprising since it is usually booked- but then I see why- it's an exit seat tighter than any seat I was ever on- I have to seat sideways (no leg room) and avoid the cock pick door which opens for the stewardess every few minutes.
And my back pack is small- but still no room
So I seat my back pack on the seat next to me- and make sure the seat belt is fastened.
Then the stewardess tells me that according to regulations- I can place him on the inside seat- so me and the passenger (Bag) next to me switch seats and again I tie him- he can't do anything himself.
So she says- no, the straps (on the bag) have to be outside of the belt- "oh" I said and follow instructions- I am obedient sometimes.
So everyone is in their seats- all belts are fastened and I fall asleep right away
Too bed this is a 30 minute flight…
And now I am in connection in Portland airport ready to board again!!!

So enjoy nice ocean views both sunrise and sunset

on seals and sealed vegetables

Back in lalaland I used to have a program that change screenshots every day- beautiful shots of animals and views from around the world- a group of them were from Oregon- they must have a photographer close by- so Oregon  was on my list for a long time. And I am here now only a few hours away from a park I am dying to go – crater lake national park, and that will have to be delayed- that place looks very close on the map to the Oregon coast, but with the mountains on the way its 5 hours drive and a road blocked by snowL so I will have to come back.

It’s a bit chilly here but not much and the locals say it’s the best weather they had in a while-so good.

 

We walked on the bay and the mist covers the nearby light house, kids fishing for crabs, seagulls are flying and seals are swimming around- all in poor quality on film since they just stick their head out and prefer to leave their bodies underwater.

 

I am at the cranberry capital of Oregon- so it was no surprise that they server cranberry bread for breakfast- that and nothing else. Cranberry bread is like honey cake, with nuts and cranberries- it would be better in my opinion without the cranberries- which are only good with vodka or zombies (a song by the cranberries)

 

Today I tried another local thing- the twice baked potato- the dish is simple- you take a potato, bake it- open it and take the stuff out, add butter, cheese, cream, meat, mash it- put it back in the potato and  bake again –thus twice baked- the result was not bad at all- although I prefer then name rebaked potato.

But after I tried in and liked it I asked the waitress what was inside- and she gave me the above description with an unwanted bonus.

Apparently inside sat the most hated vegetable of them all- which looks like a cucumber, but does not smell or taste like a cucumber- it was zucchini- and somehow is wasn’t thrown away

I don’t understand myself-  must be the jet leg

 

On Sunday I had a scheduling problem- had an afternoon flight and a beach volley ball game a few hours before- the problem is how to play, go home and wash off the sticky sand- and make the flight- that was impossible- since I can’t pass on beach volleyball and I couldn’t miss the flight- something had to change. So after 2 hours of beach volley ball- I took a shower in the lake- it’s cold!!! But refreshing, and went to the airport after changing clothes in the parking lot

 

Oh- passed on the way in salt lake city—amazing views of snowy mountains from the air- now a new place on the list.

 

And a tip- if you drive through Reedsport, Oregon- don’t speed- there is a permanent trap there- and all the locals know it - I wish I knew that before I go a ticket

Never had a speeding ticket in Israel- and this is my 2^nd here…  

another  day here , than the windy city  than will see….

 

Hapy suckut

 

on liquids and powders- yom kipur confessions

I am waiting for laundry to be done and a bottle of schnapps is in front of me - so I feel a need to clarify.

Till about 6 months ago I was never drunk, never smoked, never had a vice (other than chocolate) - some has change- the blame is on Amsterdam and Obama's tax cuts

In Amsterdam I was sitting with others (who which to remain anonymous), who smoked- I received 2nd hand hash smoke- but did not smoke myself. My issue is brownies- I love them- but laced brownies are another matter- 1 brownie contains less than 1 cigarette of hash- and I ate about 20% of one- I think it affected me- or id did because I thought it should , I don't really know. So my name is Gil and I am a drug addict.... That is my relation with drugs.

And last week we (some Colleagues who probably would like to be anonymous and I) went to a Mexican place I once wrote here was not so good, I guess they read the blog as well- a lot better this time- the problem began with margaritas.
I rarely drink only because I don't like it (Beer, wine, and most liquors), margarita is border line- so I had some with them than the schnapps began- with that drinking game- well you read what happened!!
I don't remember writing that last paragraph (I remember the other ones), I am on tape and don't remember half of it
All I remember is waking in bed with some guy in a hotel...and a married guy too!
Don't worry, I haven't switched teams - MR M let me crash in his room, that's it- (I hope:) )- so my never drunk record has ended.
I will post the videos once I get them- I really shouldn't!!! but I will.

So let us move to the subject of the day
Liquids and powders (no , not drugs again, dear tabloid readers)- what is better - tomato soup from powder or a liquid can?
As you know - I dislike tomatoes in their natural form- but like them in many less natural form. The soup I use to eat the most (other than chicken) was tomato from a powder box (mix with water, heat, and it's good!!!). I tried a new product- the soup from the can(also add water, heat), but the liquid stuff looked more like real tomatoes (no good)- but it tasted good- so after close considerations- powder still rules

Attached are photos from 2 weeks ago from my biking kayaking day.

I orienteered twice since then - once during the day time- got a bit off track for an hour but managed to get back in my worst result of recent years- this will happen when you don't check your map!
But yesterday was the 2nd one- and a night event!- I organized an event with the group I go hiking with- and 9 brave souls came along. I hadn't done a night event since the army. The last time I did a dusk event ended after 5 minutes with a sprained leg in the sands of hadera. But this one went well- all 10 of us came back...at night you really get a sense of the woods- sounds from all over make you look that way(and run the other way), all markers were found. Before that we did a short hike around the lake- with amazing photos before it got dark- of the fall- it's amazing here this time of year- all the colors of the world in one shot.

I don't know what is worse- working on Kippur or not going to cedar point on Kippur.

My soccer season has ended with a glorious assist- last week we had 2 games in a row- I came with a fear for my tights which are still sore from 2 weeks earlier (I don't rest...)- it rained a bit and my snickers are slipping on a muddy pitch (before that I went shoe shopping for cleats ("pkakim" ) and since I am a horrible shoe shopper- I couldn't find a comfortable pair- so I left the sporting goods empty handed, and the shoe guy, bare commission handed) - and made a great pass in our half - he moved on, ran all the way,3 passed guys and scored. I still say the assist is mine. So the 1st game ended with a tie, and the 2nd game, we got creamed - they actually scored from a corner kick- curved ball straight in- damn accurate people.
I will miss the rest of the season- for work- so till next year- no more soccer.

On the way to the O event- I was shocked to see that we passed Springfield, OH- shocked because I knew that Springfield OH is about 5 hours away from Cleveland- I drove less than an hour and not fast!- there are 2 Springfields in Ohio (like it was in PA) - one is city and one is twp (township)- if I was the mail man I would be confused.- so Springfield count is now 6 (1, oh, 2 pa, 1 ga,1 arkansos and 1 in tennesey)- none with a nuclear reactor (maybe I should go to Springfield, Iraq)
Speaking of Iraq - I saw last season of lost- and I am more confused than ever- I think they are randomly killing characters.

Yesterday I asked for tea (sore throat) and got ice tee- some minor differences are still not easy to adjust to- like the date format (I get it right most of the time), the tax (I still have an "oh I forgot the taxes" comment every now and then) and the fact that you have to go to one store to buy beer(not for me) and to another to buy schnapps (for me...see last week))- the legislators- seem to think that separating this will help - but they forgot that after beer- someone is drunk and then drives drunk to get liquor- so good intentions , bad result

So I have to go- laundry is done- need to pack for Oregon this week (state #28) - and go to beach volleyball for the last time this year(winter is coming soon to a city near you(me)) then head for the airport

Have a happy Sokut and stay sober

I should probably not be posting this

 

 

i didnt know doctor hibert had 2 lost brothers- i am way lost

I started watching lost again this week, season 4- some stuff I saw before but with this show the more you see the more lost you become,

 

A history was made this week as team classified is no longer a losing team

But not yet a winning team either

We took the field against the mighty… (some other team- forgot their name) and managed to tie, after this game I was suffering from out of shape muscles

Next week- to games back to back- I am already crying

 

I am so drunk now- I drank close to a half of bottle of schnapps as a part of the presidential debate

Each is assign a list of words- whenever that word is said you have to drink- they drink beer- I drink schnapps- the vault opener

So I had health, severe, Washington, military rank but the major one (major is not a military rank) was cut-that damn Obama said cut so many times- at least a quarter bottle was for tax cuts- I am not voting for McCain because I Can’t- for some reason they require you to be a citizen.

 

I must say I wrote the 1^st 4 rows were before I was drunk but the rest was pure post debate

So after we won  by tying the game tomorrow we will play 2 games back to back so hard issue

 

The vp debate was not as good- for once I never drank- so less fun- and Palin was full of respect with no substance- bidden has no character- too boring

 

James’s wife gets this – he is scared about it- so I must share it with every one (forgive the schnapps)

So last week I went for paddle and paddle- 10 miles of biking- very easy on flat ground and 6 miles of kayaking- which is very bad for your ass

-          Just the worst-  it was followed by a barbeque with great bean dip and burgers and stuff.

So over the weekend we went to Akron for a very thought hike- lots of uphill lots of running and lots of fun- and we went to an Indian food place followed by a farmers market with big spiders pictures to follow once I’m sober)

 

So we should disregard Israeli sports- since there are not great results so far- I insulted BASEBALL BY SAYING ITS NOT A SPORT (IT IS A PAST ITME)BUT NOT  AS sport- and I stand by it (though I am drunk)- it is not!!-THEY Disagreed but they know it is true- I have a few years to convince them-  foot ball is nice- robotic but nice.

So tomorrow I have to train people- I hope I am sober buy then

It will be fun

And in yom Kippur  I am going to cedar point…do fun fun fun

I with all my heart say that I am sober (After 1/2 bottle of schnaps)  but my limbs are notJ

 

And only tomorrow will reveal the truth

p.s  since I am drunk- I can take back anything I said tonight…so tomorrow I will ignore all that happened tonight

p.s see you on the 25rth in Israel I land on the 26^th but leave here on the 25^th of October

before that I will be in Nevada and Pennsylvania,.,

 

good help the drunk,.,…I am sober at least in mind……

 

 

it's been a year since i last wrote something

The longest day just ended.. or so I hope- nothing beats spending a holiday at work- I will make up for it soon don’t be worried

 

So some where late last year- I went to paddle and paddle – which is a nice 16k bike ride- which went by too fast followed by a kayak trip (pictures soon) along some nameless river

The river is nice- since there is water on the one side, you bike in the middle and another canal which looks like a mossy, swampy, grassy river on the other

So lots of green at the beginning of the fall, some ducks, a hawk of some kind, a depressed wild turkey- he kept his head down- must know that thanks giving is approaching

And a river turtle- I never so them in real life- I head those small ones who died in the aquarium at my house when I was young, and I saw gigantic ones at sea- but never small regular sized turtles in a river- I scared it and it jumped in the water and swam away (and fast).

But after 2+ hours of kayaking (I canoed a lot but never kayaked) some areas in the body don’t like to remain in the same position – next time bring a cushion

After that we had a barbeque- not as gourmet as last week but good enough.

 

Some people are lucky ones- others get to see the movie with that name – good cast (rachel mcadamas and tim robins) but I guess it’s for Americans-  but I do have something in common with the main characters- all wounded soldiers with very minor injuries- thus lucky ones (don’t worry its not a spoiler), and good acting- but again- for yanks

 

Yesterday for rosh hashana I went to Alla’s sister – who hosted family friends and me to a honey full meal (and tirosh J)  with some holiday games and questions (she said they never done it in Israel- just a way to keep tradition alive),  poor Alla – had 3 tests in 3 days… so she wasn’t there. But an evening I was and was not looking forward too went well.

 

So after wards I had few free hours- so another movie- eagle eye- with Indiana jones’s son in the movie- better job on this one

Good thriller- and other then 10 kitchi minutes,,,,why must they ruin it????…. it is still the best movie I saw this year  (shai you will like it, amit go to the cinematic)

 

My new arrival date is October 26 till after the election

And till that there are some octoberfeast events- these people will drink for any nation, any religion with no bios of any kind….

And 2^nd week of my soccer career is tomorrow… it’s hard to do worst then last week, but I am sure we can

 

Oh and yom kipur is coming so I must confess my sins- mosquitoeCide

Huge mosquitoes- entered my place- not many but extremely large and easy to hitJ so I killed one- and more came for the funeral- I sent some more to meet the 1^st one – hope they are gone by now.

 

I missed today an indoor rock climbing event and a juggling class- so nothing left to do but go to another movie…should I get a TV? no

 

Have a happy tzom gdalia and shana tova