on a world record and voices

paparazzi perspective:

Mattan needed a diaper change, not a rare occasion these days, so i took him to the changing pad. the pad usually has some protective layer against mysterious spills. those shield was missing for a while after a prior "incident", and today it was returned to its former clean self. i placed the baby on the edge of the mat, while most of the protective shield was towards the bottom (pun intended). i snapped off some buttons, removed his legs from his leggings, removed the buttons on the shirt, took the diaper off, cleaned up, and then without any warning signs, without announcing whats about to come in audio or gas way. a stream of poo shot out, flying across the protective barrier , landing a foot away from the launch zone, this must be a world record. I was laughing so hard. then went back to cleaning.

 

Baby perspective:

i was napping, bothering no one, when i was taken against my will upstairs, placed a white material, then they opened the buttons, and its cold! what do you do when its cold, you can warm your self like I do, but they took my poop keeper too fast and instead of warming me, it flew away. why are they laughing at me, i am cold...wa wa wa.

 

they invented a new form of torture, they take this tube and put in in my mouth, bah, it taste like medicine, and now they do it 4 times a day, what is that yucky thing?

 

they decided to celebrate my 1 month birth day by taking me to the place with aliens. they got me naked again, put me on the scale, then gave me some food and teased me by putting me on the scales again, they don't have trustworthy devices? why twice?

 

more on the songs they sing to me- translation

"cake, cake, cake, in a circle we turn around. we will go around all day, till we find a spot. to sit, to stand up, to sit to stand up, to sit to stand up"

well i don't eat cake yet, so why be a tease? and why tell me about 3 of them? and decided , will you turn around till you find a spot, or all day? and you know i can;t stand up yet, or sit, whats the point?

 

you know i am getting fatter? I gained 2 pounds, what are they feeding me?

 

can you get the gas out of my food. after i eat this gas thing is inside my tummy, i have to work hard to get it out, not sure why it goes at different times from different places.

 

I am now 32 days old.

 

p.s

that paparazzi sings to me in a horrible voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OMxDfTrXhE

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgOfFy1NCL8