sleep deprived and cant sleep at the same time is a strange mix. Alla is sleeping, Mattan needed a night change of diaper and clothes as well, then crawled to our bed. he is not a lie still sleeper, keeps turning and waking me up, Tall chuck woke up starving at midnight and again at 2 and after both feedings i find myself fully awake. i am not relaxed and have not been for some time. i tried to write a few times but nothing comes out, mental block. my project pressure has finally decreased about a month ago, we moved to the next project where i don't have a lead role, so the pressure is on others and i am kind of costing and trying to recover but i don't really feel it. i think i need a change, but am clueless as to what. i am rambling, but this is maze is in my head and i need to get out.
took a little break, Talchuck is eating for the 3rd time since midnight, unusual, new food..
what is the path forward, i want to leave my profession for the last 10 years of so, finished a PMP and MBA but i have no specific thing i want to do. i love traveling , but a traveling job does not work well with the little ones. i was told i can be a teacher, a job i usually ignored as low paying, i just looked it up and top payed teachers actually make a nice pay check, but you dont start as top paying, this is part of my jam, any new field i am starting from a lesser position in terms of experience, but perhaps it is better to take the hit now then continuing to feel stuck.
i am too cheap to buy a sports car, is this my midlife crisis?, usually writing helps me sort my thoughts, but not this time.
well , what's new with the kids you ask.
Mattan fell and said "i fell on my Ama" ama is the name of the middle finger and i was most impressed with his knowledge of digits names, he knows them all. i tried to see if i knew the English digit names and it turns out i didn't , the ring finger is actually the grooming finger..
he is like a sponge, absorbing all languages.
our usually activity is "gulat" a walk out side. mattan likes to go to the pond and visit the ducks. last time mattan decided to takes his own stroller for a walk, wants to feel grown up so we did and we also took some bread for them and half way mattan decided to eat the bread, when we reached the ducks, he threw pieces at them while eating the other half, then he sat in his own stroller and wanted to nap. usually its fine, but i cam carrying tal and the other stroller. one stroller limit m had to convince home to keep going (the 3 minutes till home). on a different gulat, i heard some unusual music for this area, a high pitch melody of common songs, the ice cream truck has arrived! for 30 minutes or so we are waiting out side, we hear the music, but it is in the next street, i am explaining to mattan what the music means and he is excited, he wants the flavor Red. his favorite flavor. so he got a red Popsicle and i got my chocolate.
Talush is starting to get mobile, trying to sit, he can do it when he is leaning on me, but cant yet from a laying position, he is now turning on his side nd is rumored to have turned over once, i will believe it when i see it.
on Sunday we went to a company fun family day at a small lake resort. came in early and spent the morning chasing Mattan around. we started with a tiny hike around the lake, then slides, swings, jumping on huge air mattresses, horse riding (well, swings that look like horses) , we did paddle boat, then again since Mattan wanted the purple boat.
he wouldn't stop running from one activity to the next and loved every minute of it while Tal was swinging with Babushka.
i had a DnD session later that day and Dina witnessed it for the 1st time and i think she lost all respect for me, thinking its beneath me, but i really enjoy it, need to find job that is as fun as this.
Tal woke up again, got an ounce of the same food for desert and back to sleep
an ice cream truck, not the one i saw, was robbed in Akron, who robs an ice truck the reporter asked. the perpetrator was described as wearing jeans and a cavaliers shirt. if i were out that day i might be arrested, that is one of the most combinations here,
a teacher went to ceder point (the amusement park) dropped his phone in a ride, then jumped the fence to go get it and got hit.
he was a teacher and a guidance councilor, making an impact on youth. to bad he never learned to read warning signs, was misguided in his direction and the only real impact was the train hitting him. dark thoughts for early in the morning.
i have a week or so in February planned for a new destination, i was checking out french guinea and asked my Uruguayans friends about it and they didnt know where it was. it is a country next to Guinea, Suriname and close to Venezuela . i'd expect a south american to know all the countries, there are not that many of them... i really cant find much about this place, except you can do jungle eco tours which sounds neat, but i my be going to Portugal instead too early to tell.
that is it for now, maybe i will close my eyes for a bit, its wake up time very soon
5:39 am , directionless in cleveland signing off
